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We are currently witnessing unprecedented and generalized fear, shame, guilt, panic, anxiety, hatred, anger, sadness, dispair, frustration, disdain and other strong emotions that are being amplified by the media and large global movements by civilians.
Whether or not they are justified and whether or not the political, financial, health or social reasons they are grounded on have or have not any underlying truth to them, is not the subject of this article.
In my opinion, my personal opinion, which is framed by my studies on stress, trauma and human emotions, the real reason for the uprisal of so much emotional upheaval lies in our earliest childhood.
What we are looking at is a global uprising of our children. Human children which have not learned that the world or other humans are safe. Human children which have not developed that part of their brain, which allows them to reason or even question whether or not the information which they are given is valid and is to be believed as such.
The human brain, nervous system, and its emotional aspects, is built by the relationships we have with our closest environment during our major developmental stages and spurts, which take place mainly (not 100%, but a large amount) during our time in moms womb and our first 4 years of life.
The human brain and system nourishes itself by interacting with its environment, and especially those few that bring constant nurturing and loving safety and understanding towards the needs this little person may have – those whom we commonly call parents.
Remember, we were all human babies once, then toddlers, in need of love and attention. Do you remember?
Throughout the ages children have always been at the centre of attention of their adult surrounding and were one of the most important aspects of a tribe’s survival. The family they were born into was helped and supported without question by all the tribe or at least those who were closest to them, so they could give their child their undevided attention.
This treatment is a human birthright.
It is part of our humanity.
It is our underlying basis for inner stability, balance and emotional wellbeing.
It creates the foundation for our resilience towards adversity and diversity.
And it also creates the foundation for our capacity to reason
This very natural necessity of the family to nurture and love our children has been systematically reduced and replaced by a great necessity to work for our financial wellbeing, work and work and not be with those who we really need to be with until we break apart as a family and our own children hate us and want to do us harm.
It is not to be surprised at all about the necessity of our children to watch TV until they fall asleep, feed on sugar for compensation for lack of motivation, get their dopamine through video or online games, gather together in groups of peers for moral support. Only to then get deeply hurt, shamed, stressed out, blamed, punished, excluded and emotionally crushed by those who they try to get attention of, but in fact are as unstable emotionally as they themselves are.
As a parent I ask myself, what am I up to, while my children are looking to soothing their emotions and inner imbalance by watching TV, or looking for appreciation and recognition to peers and teachers? Why are so many of our children looking for love in all the wrong places, where they are more vulnerable to getting a conditioned and twisted form of love (only if they fit in and obey by the rules of the group)? Some get hurt so profoundly they even take their lives. I believe that deep down all they really seek is their well deserved portion of love. Well deserved? Yes, just for being a human child you deserve love.
What we are witnessing is a global pandemic of neglected and maltreated children translating into overloading fear, depression, suicides, violence, hopelessness, and shame.
The blame is not on their parents, however. Their own parents already were neglected and maltreated by a system that does not allow them to be with their children. A system that stresses out parents enough they sometimes simply do not have the strength even to have a conversation or exchange a hug with their children. A system which places babies as young as 4 months into daycare so mom can go work, while all that baby actually needs is being close to mom 24/7.
I don’t have the slightest doubt that this is the real reason why we are witnessing so much unrest on a global scale and that if we look closer we will see that precisely those countries who DON’T take part in this upheaval are actually those countries who were able to consolidate work and life and permit parents to pay loving attention to their children’s needs.
I am definitely not saying that there might not always be a part of society that feels unbalance and needs to express it, but one thing I truely believe: those children who DID get the love they needed (covering their true needs) you won’t find participating in mind games, fear mongering, shaming, shouting, aggression or worse. If you had a loving and supportive family, you are able to hear somebody say horrendous things about you and still be able to reason and think clearly. If you didn’t have that support, your brain will be inundated in a puddle of stress hormones and the fear of consecuences will take over your actions.
If you are a parent reading this, NOW is the time to look after your children. We are given an amazing and unexpected opportunity to make up for lost time with our kids, play, hug, cuddle, enjoy time together and even return to settle and relax on a deeper level.
I believe there will be a whole new generation capable of greater love and understanding of our world and everybody else in it, if we take the opportunity now to recover our human right to be a family.
The family is a non replaceable institution, if we want love, compassion and comprehension in our society. Lets give our attention and love to our own family.
Peace and much love to you